Devil's Reject

Sometimes Miss Kitty like to be scared and she does this by watching scary movies, by herself, in the dark so that she can feel that mixed rush of adrenaline and fear and hear her heart beating wild and crazy like a Rada drum.

It is for this reason that she recently purchased the following:

Monster Man - Hey well it looked scary on the cover! This is basically about two guys and a female hitchhiker are terrorized by a monstrous looking man driving a giant monster truck…and that's it! Just kidding, there is a little, albeit far-fetched twist to the end.
However, it does have a few enjoyable moments including when the most annoying character ("I'm the kind of guy who puts the "ick" in "dick"") performs oral sex on the mutilated stomach of a dead cat in his sleep.

Manhunter - Bought this as its a cult classic and also because William Petersen looks dead sexy in it. It's based on 'Red Dragon' and is about a former FBI agent (who captured Hannibal Lector but became so traumatized he went into retirement) who comes out of retirement to help catch the 'Tooth Fairy' who is killing entire families. Petersen's role as a profiler who has an uncanny ability to get into the mind of a killer and think as he does. Hmmm…Miss Kitty wouldn't mind him working on her profile…

House of 1000 Corpses - Now this film is great! Written and directed by the excellent Rob Zombie it is a true tribute to 70's exploitation backwoods slasher horrors.
However, what makes this film greater is the added supernatural vibe and surrealism.
It gradually becomes more and more insane until reaching the climax which is a bizarre and over-the-top apex. And that's just how Miss Kitty likes it..And even more notable is the central charater Otis B.Driftwood. A sadistic, revolutionary artist country bumpkin turns gothic prince at the end.
He can be Miss Kitty's daddy anytime...

Nacho nacho man!

So then R decided to pry Miss Kitty's fingers from her PC keyboard and pull her away from the Phoenix's watchful eyes.

He took her out to Forest Hill and there they dined in Wetherspoons.
They shared a plate of nachos and then R had the classic Beer 'n Burger deal and MK her favourite sirloin steak with salad and jacket potato dish.

Whilst eating they debated on whether Wetherspoons make the best nachos ever, and to this Miss Kitty has to say YES!

Firstly, they use tortilla chips and not doritos as some restaurants very annoyingly use (Bar Q).

Secondly, they use real sour cream and not watered down mayonnaise (Westons).

Thirdly, they use cold salsa and not hot, tinned tomatoes which make the chip soggy (Desperados).

And the final winning point is that they top the dish off with jalapeno peppers, which Miss Kitty could happily eat a jar of.

R disagreed, preferring the tinned tomato salsa, he voted for Desperados. Then Miss Kitty pointed out that bargainwise Wetherspoons won hands down as portions anywhere else cost more and are no way near as large. R then agreed.

Once R and Miss Kitty realised that they had been debating for 45 minutes on whether Wetherspoons nachos rule or not, they decided to straighten up, leave and make for Blockbuster.

It was here that Miss Kitty decided to re-enter that underworld of the horror film...

Miss Kitty and her date with Death

Ok so feeling really rough Saturday morning. Tongue felt like sandpaper and tasted like the alcohol-sodden carpet lining the Catford Wetherspoons.

Despite that Miss Kitty decided to spend the entire morning playing In Memoriam.

The game centres around the disappearance of journalist Jack Lorski, and his young female companion, Karen Gijman, in Europe while investigating a series of bizarre murders. Some weeks later, the SKL agency whom they work for receives a package containing a CD-ROM and on this CD-ROM is a mixture of disturbing footage and reports made by Jack. But there is also some other data including puzzles and messages, created by some weird ass referring to themselves only as "The Phoenix."

Now, although this game is played using a CD-Rom, to make progress in the adventure Miss Kitty must connect to the Internet to find information that's essential to accomplish some of the missions.

She is then rewarded by the Phoenix by receiving snippets of film that he stole from Jack. Using those extracts Miss Kitty must reconstruct the events that led Jack and Karen into the clutches of the serial killer and save them from death.

The reason for MK buying this game was that she had read about its Alternate Reality-style gameplay, in which the player receives e-mails from other in-game characters, including the Phoenix himself!

And when Miss Kitty receives her first email from the Phoenix titled "I'm Watching You". It reads:

I'm there, right near you. I'm watching you. You could almost feel my breath on your skin… See you later, my Little Friend.

Hmmm…Miss Kitty feels very intrigued by this invitation.

Phoenix if you're out there, fancy a drink?

A Cat amongst the Hens

The latter part of that evening saw Miss Kitty meeting up with the Hens for a night out.

After numerous photo shoots, we were on our way, cackling, shrieking, flirting with strangers and generally acting like every man's worst nightmare (and fantasy).

First stop was Marsala Zone, an Indian restaurant in Soho, and to Miss Kitty's horror the entire place was illuminated as though it were in the light of some terrible day.

Miss Kitty likes the dark you see.

Anyway, the interesting selection of spicy poppadoms and chutneys pleased MK along with the cornucopia of red wine.

Miss Kitty opted for an interesting dish which seemed to contained about 8 courses! Of course, once the meal arrived on a silver platter, Miss Kitty realised that they were 8 very tiny courses. Nevertheless, interesting and pretty tasty.

After the meal, we were all stuffed and pretty merry, walking down the road, linking arms, and making our way to G-A-Y!

Unfortunately there were 'too many of us', and the doormen wouldn't let us in. So we spent the next 15 minutes convincing ourselves that the true reason was that they were afraid that we would convert the homos into heteros...yeah right!

We ended up in The Escape which was adequate, but Miss Kitty didn't know any of the songs and by that time she was tired and wanted to go home.

Fortunately, so did everyone and so MK did not get to snog a gay guy, which was her plan beforehand, but instead took the no. 1 and then the 363 bus all the way home.

A short session of In Memoriam followed...

Gangsta Kitty

Modern R n' B does not fall under Miss Kitty's favourite genre of music purely for the fact that it has become as hollow and commercial as any other pop trite, and promotes an unhealthy perception of women (though I do have a soft spot for Justin Timberlake).

However, G, Miss Kitty's little sister cannot get enough of it and so when she discovered that Thursday is R n' B night at Bar Equal, she begged yours truly to go with her.

The plan was to first have a family meal in Honor Oak Tandoori and then to cross over the road and spend the rest of the night in Bar Equal. Sounded good.

MK and R got to the Honor Oak Tandoori plenty early and ordered two shots of sambucca (flames and coffee beans included) to kick-start the evening. Forty-five minutes and 6 poppadoms later and still waiting for G and lil A to turn up. When they do turn up, they're not alone..G has brought her dyke friend and A has bought two of his friends, who although are now 18, look very pre-pubescent.

Anyways, some took advantage of the Thursday 'Happy Night Meal' which is £6.95 for four courses, but Miss Kitty ordered her food separately as she was feeling like having a little seafood. Therefore, King Prawn Butterfly for starters!

After, MK paid by card for the entire group's happy night meal(!), we went across to Bar Equal where the bass was thumping through the dark, steamy windows. Inside was a completely different story though. Maturish couples were sipping glasses of beer, and two tipsy girls were dancing in the dark, the green glow of the DJ's light illuminating them like devillish sprites.

Despite that, Miss Kitty actually enjoyed the music. It wasn't modern day R 'n B at all, but proper old school classics such as Mary J Blige's 'Real Love', En Vogue's "Never Gonna Get It" and Boyz II Men's "Motownphilly" and Jade's "Don't Walk Away", and whilst MK sat bopping away whilst sipping her White Russian, the youts looked at her in shock!

Yes kids, as Tori once said "I think there are pieces of me you've never seen"

Mean Kriek

Being a typical male, R decided to take a day off last Tuesday as he was convinced he was dying...and since Miss Kitty's boss was away on holiday, she decided to be extremely naughty and take the day off to accompany R to the doctors.

Well R was in a right state, so we bought some snacks and sat in the adjourning park before the appointment. There we were accosted by a rather large Dalmatian who seemed to want to grab Miss Kitty's scotch egg out of her hand.

Anyway, once R was in the clear and feeling very silly indeed, we hopped on the bus towards Lordship Lane.

First stop was MIND, the charity shop on the corner of Grove Vale. It is, in Miss Kitty's opinion, one of the best charity shops in South-East London It has an excellent collection of gilt mirrors, oil paintings, exotic ornaments and pretty retro clothes and shoes. R gravitated naturally towards the acoustic guitar in the window, whilst MK checked out the PC games where she found and bought In Memoriam and Day of the Tentacle.

Second stop was The Sea Cow, in Miss Kitty's opinion, one of the best fish and chip shops in all of London (despite it's industrial interior)! Here, we settled down to yellow fin tuna, crispy-skinned salmon and chunky chips, washed down with a few glasses of Cava.

Indeed, it had been a long time since MK & R had been along Lordship Lane, so we further savoured the experience by popping into Apollo Video, which contains the best collection of World Cinema that Miss Kitty has ever seen in a video shop.
We bought Lady Vengeance, Hidden and, at R's request, a John Candy film called Delirious.

All the shopping and alcohol was making Miss Kitty sleepy, but R was buzzing from his new lease of life. So we stopped inside Inside 72 and had two delicious cherry beers called Kriek.

We decided to split from Inside 72, although it was rock n' roll and proper cosy, we had a feeling that it would soon be packed with Emo teenies.

So we moved on to the HobGoblin or The Hob (as it is now called), sat reminiscing about how it used to look in our wonder years. Cheered up by playing a game of pool, which Miss Kitty lost by quite a large margin.

Moving on swiftly to the cosy bar section of the Dartmouth Arms, and Long Island Iced Tea for R, Mohito for MK. Followed by a bottle of Prosecco which was a terrible, sickly mistake, but quickly rectified with two White Russians, which Miss Kitty smugly assisted the barman with.

And then to bed, after watching Delirious which was ok but no Planes, Trains and Automobiles!

Caught by the Fuzz...again!

Since R had not seen Hot Fuzz but had heard all about it from Miss Kitty, we decided to watch it in Greenwich Picturehouse.

Before doing so, we had our usual selection of savoury snacks in Desperados washed down with a few cocktails.

R thoroughly enjoyed the film. And MK thoroughly enjoyed the new cinema, despite the reel melting halfway through the trailers, it was very cosy and comfortable and we were very happy to note the absence of rowdy teenagers.

We shall definitely be going there again, possible for the monthly Film Quiz which Miss Kitty and R would definitely win!

Red Moon

To celebrate the return of Miss Kitty's brother S from university (just for the weekend though!), we had a family day out in Greenwich.

We started with the Saigon Vietnamese Restaurant which offers an all day eat-as-much-as-you-like buffet.
Now as much as MK loves Vietnamese food, she has a true love/hate relationship with the Saigon.

On first entering, the smell and site of the endless trays of food and the first taste of a cold Tsing-Tao get you into thinking this is paradise, and why don't we come here more often?

Several piled plates later and you remember why, as you feel all the grease congealing in your stomach and realise that no amount of Chinese beers will quench the thirst developed from all the copious amounts of hidden salt. Still it's all good, and what can you expect for £5.95. Plus you get fruit, ice cream and jelly for dessert!

We then decided to resist the urge to drive back home and catnapping in bed, by driving up to Filmworks and catnapping whilst watching a film. Once sneaking in bags of cheap Sainsburys' goodies (well, we weren't going to pay the Filmworks' price of £4.20 per small bag of popcorn!), we made our ways up to Screen 10 where we watched Hot Fuzz.
Miss Kitty, being a big Spaced fan, enjoyed the film immensely, and is in awe at the genius of Pegg and Wright, a match made in comedy heaven.

After the film, MK and the Fam drove back into Greenwich and joined R and his bands Severe Repisal and Chavvie Bowler for a few drinks on the benches outside the Coach & Horses.

At exactly, 11:15pm we all dashed into the high street to view the moon eclipse, which was pretty and red like a whore's mouth.

The Past is a Diverted Mirror of your Soul

After an absolutely awful day at work, Miss Kitty scampered off to Covent Garden to go get loaded. Met friends in Fuel Bar and took great advantage of their £3.25 cocktail list! "The Dune Bugs are on me!"

However, the merriment didn't last long as MK was truly bushed and decided to throw the towel in @ 8pm. Grabbed a Chicken Vindaloo from Honor Oak Tandoori and headed home to finish playing Black Mirror, which despite the dodgy accents is an enjoyable game in the gruesome, ritual murder sense!

Karaoke Kitty

Just when Miss Kitty was thinking about about cutting down on alcohol, who should call her out for a drink but her beloved friend PS.

We decided to try The Duke of York on Borough Road. Didn't get much luck getting a seat as the place was heaving with young workers, no doubt celebrating on through half the week.

A couple of Frulis and two glasses of wasabi nuts later, and we're making our way drunkenly to Lewisham where we were to meet PS's lil bro' at the Fox & Firkin.
The Fox & Firkin isn't the coolest pub in the world but MK managed to reaffirm her coolness with the young and tipsy customers by mentioning that she had recently visited Crowbar and the Intrepid Fox!

After being chucked out of the F&F, MK, PS and our small posse of teenagers headed four doors down to Stonewalls.

Now, Miss Kitty used to live in the Catford/Lewisham area during one of her previous nine lives, but had never ventured to go into any sort of club there, for health reasons (namely that one could get stabbed/mugged/shot etc).
However, Stonewalls was quite a pleasant, non-violent place, possibly because it was a gay bar.

It was karaoke night and after ordering Baileys, PS was adamant on performing Duran Duran's "Hungry Like A Wolf" with MK. Luckily, we approached the stage too late.

And what sort of feline would Miss Kitty be singing songs about wolves?